Coming to Understand Christ's Atonement Better: Heidi's Faith Story
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Do you want to help others but just don’t know where to start? Heidi thought the same thing… until she decided to just do it. She reached out, found needs, and is still serving through her Charity, For the Love, six years later. Come listen and be inspired by Heidi, how she started to serve, and what it has taught her about Christ’s atoning sacrifice.
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You can find Heidi’s charity, For the Love, online.
Read the Script
Camille: Welcome to Chatting with Camille, helping you share the gospel of Jesus Christ at church, home, and beyond.
Welcome to Chatting with Camille. This week' is story week and we have Heidi Bartle with us. She loves feasting on the good word of God. She enjoys deep discussions about the gospel and being a temple baptistry worker. Things tend to go off the rails during family scripture study as she tries to spiritually nurture her three kids still at home. As long as the prophet affirms that God loves effort, she'll keep trying. Heidi is the author of When Mommy Feels Sad, the children's book about depression. She also runs a nonprofit called For the Love that serves disadvantaged members of her community. Welcome, Heidi.
Heidi: Thanks, Camille. Happy to meet here.
Camille: So happy to have you here. Come share your story with us.
Heidi: Today I would love to discuss the principle that is in Matthew 25 40: “In as much as you have done it until one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it to me.” I want to share some experiences that I have had expanding my understanding of this principle.
For the last five years, I have run a charity called For the Love. It started as an effort to help people out at Christmas time, but we've kind of transitioned to a focus on year-round projects that serve the unhoused and underprivileged population in my school district. Our work has helped us enter the stories of people living in their cars, in homeless shelters, in motels, in the back rooms of local businesses, and in other difficult circumstances. We've had the opportunity to help with clothing, food, rent, other bills, fixing cars, furniture for new apartments, and Christmas gifts.
Here's some things I've learned from applying this principle with these people. Serving the least of these is serving Jesus. That's the principle, right? And I can testify that this is true. And also that when we serve the least of these, Jesus is ready to help. Through this work, my heart and my eyes have been opened to see people the way that Jesus sees them.
On two occasions in December, I fed homeless families at my kitchen table. They are just like me in a hundred ways. They have hopes and dreams and stories to tell. The common judgment that homeless people must be lazy is a gross error in my experience. Most of the people I have helped are hardworking folks who've had incredible disasters in their lives, and I realized that maybe I am one or two disasters away from being homeless. I mean, it's just amazing to hear their stories. I cannot overstate the beautiful connection that I feel to these people, and that came straight from Jesus.
He's helped me overcome my natural reservations so I could have real conversations with total strangers. He helped me get past hygiene problems and cigarette smoke. He helped me see my neighbors as he sees them, and he sent help in the form of timely donations, new partners to help us make plans, and miracles. Right and left tender Mercies reigned on us this Christmas.
Nephi taught that tender mercies are over all of those who keep their covenants. I truly believe that because I spent serious time mourning with those that mourn, comforting those that need comfort, and giving my all to serving God's children, Jesus sent His tender mercies.
One day I was driving to the temple, thinking about the 85 people on my Christmas list. I was pondering their problems and praying for direction on how to help them. During my temple service that day I realized that I could harness the faith and prayers of temple going saints and that would really bless the people that I was trying to serve. I went to the prayer role and started writing their names. Normally, I have a terrible memory, but I wrote name, after name, after name, and got all of them. During our season of Christmas service, I become really familiar with the people on our list. They're more than just names to me, more than numbers. They are real people even though probably 80% of them I never meet.
I know that this mom is a medical assistant and is going through a terrible divorce and her son loves dinosaurs. He wears size 10 clothes and he loves red. I know another girl that I've met and so I'm really excited about the clothes she's receiving cuz I know she'll love them. I know a black family would really appreciate culturally appropriate hair products. If I can keep track in my limited capacity two sizes, hobbies, and housing situations for 85 people; how much better does the Savior know each one of them? Merrill J. Bateman once described the Savior's infinite atonement, not as a great mass of sin and pain laying down on him, but as a line of people- each one laying his or her burdens at Jesus' feet.
He knows the mental anguish that accompanies a medical emergency, a broken marriage, a financial turn that leads people into crisis. He knows the pain and humiliation of homelessness. He understands loss and trauma and grief and hopelessness. He has a list like I do. He understands and loves and helps so much.
My means of comfort are generally temporary and insignificant and insufficient. He offers help and hope that lasts and really makes a difference. My work has opened my eyes to things that I didn't even know about before or understand. Last summer we did an underwear drive because people in my literal backyard do not have underwear. This is a basic need and we're trying to help.
Heidi: Last year, people in the community made hundreds of birthday boxes that we distributed to several organizations that help struggling families. A birthday box is just a plastic container that contains a cake mix and frosting, festive plates and napkins, a birthday banner, balloons. When we started, I thought it was just a fun project that youth groups would enjoy doing and that would make kids happy- help parents out, you know, giving their kids a little mini birthday party at home.
But what I learned is that adults, grown men and women, would take a box home and they would get emotional about it. They would say things like, “I matter today.” “I exist.” “I get to celebrate.” This is an experience that I completely take for granted. Of course, we're having a birthday party. Of course, we're having a cake. It's not that way for most people. One organization that was passing out the boxes, to people use the phrase “restoring dignity” to describe the impact that the boxes are having on the community.
A week or two before Christmas, one of the moms we were helping asked if I could help her find a Christmas tree. Her young daughter was kind of devastated that they didn't have one. I received some kind of miraculous donations- that's a whole story by itself- and delivered the tree the next day. The whole family, there were four kids and a mom and a grandma, they stood around me and hugged me and cried when I walked in with the tree.
Later, the mom told me that the Christmas tree symbolized hope for their family, hope that their current circumstances won't last forever. All of God's children deserve dignity and respect. Radical generosity is exhilarating. The naked and the hungry live in my neighborhood. We don't have to look far to find major need. Never suppress a generous thought. Don't take anything for granted. People want to help, but they don't know how.
Camille: I love that you said there were 85 families and you wrote down every single name at the temple.
Heidi: Well, 85 people.
Camille: Ok. I should say that. I love that. It was 85 people and you wrote all their names down. I mean, that's amazing. You walk into another room and we forget what we're doing, right?
Heidi: Totally. Totally. To write down all 85 is amazing. That was a miracle all by itself. But the connection to the atonement was the really special piece for me.
Camille: Yeah, absolutely. Definitely makes you think. That's amazing. And I know you've been doing this for a few years and it's been getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It's been fun to watch you do it. What made you want to start in the first place?
Heidi: My brother Eric and his wife Gentry, who live in Arizona, started For the Love about 10 years ago. My husband and I watched just through social media and talking to my mom. We watched what was happening, the things that they were doing, making a difference at Christmas time, and Gary and I just decided that we wanted to do the same thing here.
Camille: I love it. So often with service projects, we are always looking so far away, like, oh, let's go help the people in Africa. We look so far away. But it really is, right next door, there's somebody that needs your help. And I think that's part of disspelling some of the judgment, right?
Because, you know, even I was scrolling through the list of things that you wanted to give people this year for Christmas. And I came across the Airbnb or whatever, and I was like, “Ugh, Airbnb. I'm not even going to an Airbnb.” That was a fleeting thought and I moved on, but that's sometimes our natural tendency- to jump to that judgment, right? Do you ever find yourself going to that judgment though, or have you been able to just pick up compassion, like you said, right at the beginning and keep that with you? Or has it ever been a struggle?
Heidi: Of course it is, but I do want to say the Airbnb gift card was for a homeless family.
Camille: Right, right.
Heidi: Out of a shelter for a few nights.
Camille: Right and you know, and that's like the next thought that I have but you don’t think of that right away.
Heidi: Yeah, yeah. Of course, I lean into judgment sometimes. It's a natural man response, but when I find myself there, I say a little prayer. “Please help me to see this person the way you see her,” or “Please help me to just love her.” I did that when I was a Relief Society president too, especially when I was going into a place where I'd never been before. I didn't know who I was talking to. I just prayed for that gift of charity in the moment.
I think all of us are striving for that in general but we can have that little gift bit by bit in the moment. The spirit always leads with compassion. If I can keep the spirit with me, then I have a greater capacity for charity.
I also ask questions to myself. Instead of looking at the guy with the cardboard sign and thinking, “I can't believe he won't get a job” I think, “I wonder what happened in that man's life that led to him standing on a corner with the cardboard sign.” It's not where he wants to be and probably never imagined that he would be that low.
I'm not perfect with judgment, but those are some things that I've learned to counteract it.
Camille: Absolutely. You've been doing this for how many years now? How many years did you say?
Heidi: We just had our sixth Christmas.
Camille: “Our sixth Christmas.” I know the obstacles come up because when you're doing good, Satan wants to fight against it, right? Give us an example of like one of the roadblocks and what do you do?
Heidi: Well, the short answer is that the roadblock is always finding donors, finding people who want to spend what little extra money they have on people they don’t know.
Camille: Yeah. Cause to us, we still don't know them, you know them all, but we don’t know.
Heidi: Yeah. Well yeah. I just know them through the list. This year we had a couple of families that we had helped before and I knew them, from our little interaction last Christmas. There are things that I do like social media stuff and trying to appeal to people's hearts and, you know, instead of just their pocket but the real answer is divine intervention every time. Always.
God's fingerprints are all over this work. I don't take any credit. He inspires me to see and do things that I wouldn't normally do. He inspires others to get involved. Like I started seeing a chiropractor in November and I didn't want to be there and I didn't want to go to the place that I was going because it was far away, but my back doctor said this guy. So I decided to follow his instructions and I went down there.
Well, on launch day for the charity, I started talking to the chiropractor who is, he's fixing me about what I was doing. And he said, “Oh wow. I do an office fundraiser every year. We usually raise about $3,000. Could we help you?” And that was just flat out miracle.
But how many steps did it take to get there? I had to have the back problem. And then I had to see this other guy for two years and then he had to say, go see this guy. And then I had to decide, okay, I guess I'll drive 30 minutes to see this guy when there's a chiropractor everywhere. Your husband's a chiropractor, right?
Camille: Right.
Heidi: I know 10 chiropractors. I don't want to go down to this guy. But I decided to do it. And then I opened my mouth and then he said, I'll do this. But he also had to have the experience of wanting to change what he had done before. He was looking for a new charity. And here we are.
Camille: I just love, you know, thinking about the way all the pieces come together. I mean, the Lord knows so much, and we're just like, “Wow, how did that work?”
Heidi: Right. When you think about all the steps that are involved. My son Gavin is 15 and just, just barely turned 15, and he's determined to get a job and that's kind of difficult at his age. But I went to breakfast with my cousin and just mentioned, Gavin wants a job. Isn't that crazy? Like, that's all I had planned to say.
Later that afternoon, she reached out to someone that she knew and that person happened to be looking for a high school student. Didn't care that he was 15. She just cared that he came with a recommendation from her good friend. So Gavin got a job.
This was last week of right before Thanksgiving. We launched on the 15th. Couple of weeks later, his boss texts me and says, “I'd like to meet with you. Could you come see me?” I'm thinking, oh my gosh, is Gavin in trouble? This is kind of weird to have a mom go to the workplace.
We didn't even talk about Gavin. My cousin had mentioned For the Love to her and she was looking for a new place to serve. She is all in. She gave me $300 cash on the spot just cause she liked what she heard. And she has connections all over the city. She owns her business and so she knows people. She wants to advertise in her store. She's just fabulous. She helped us so much and she's such a fun addition to what we're doing, but the series of things that led up to her helping right, were kind of amazing.
Kind of amazing. I had no idea that when I went to breakfast with my cousin Tiffany, that this whole snowball thing would end up helping my charity. We just were really happy he got the job. It's so perfect in so many ways, but we also have this connection and she was looking for it.
Camille: That's so neat. Just incredible. You mentioned a much deeper connection with Christ and His atoning sacrifice but I know you do this as a family, and I know not all your kids are at home anymore, but what kind of changes have you noticed or have they noticed because of this work that you're doing?
Heidi: My daughter, Lexi, is 13 and she is a deeply compassionate person and has really enjoyed getting involved in helping us every year. For the last two years, she has used her own money to buy all the gifts for one person. This year, I think maybe three or four people did that because it's expensive. It's a shirt and pants, socks and shoes, underwear, and two gifts. And this girl asked for a winter coat.
My 13-year-old who's never asked to babysit, who doesn't have reliable income, saves her money so that she can help at Christmas time. And for a 13-year-old girl and last year she was 12, that is a very significant sacrifice. She would stay home from going to the movies or she wouldn't buy the shoes she wanted or whatever. She really did sacrifice to help these kids.
I wouldn't say that all of my children were affected that way, but it's great to see her getting to know one person on the list, you know? We'd go to the store to do her shopping and she would say, can I know her name? I really just want to know our name. And normally that's confidential so nobody knows the names but I told her the girl's name. We'll say that it's Lucy. So she would say, “Mom, do you think Lucy would like these pants? Mom, do you think Lucy likes this coat? Do you think Lucy wants these socks?”
She used her name every time she talked about it and every time she discussed a gift. That is so like the Savior. He knows our names and He knows what we need and what we want. Unlike our limited mortal capacities, no matter how much we try, we're limited and imperfect. I've really made that great connection with the role of the Savior in our lives and the way He serves us and helps us and saves us.
Camille: She's such a good example. I love that.
Heidi: She's wonderful.
Camille: Yeah. It's the whole, you know, widows mite. She's giving everything to help people.
Heidi: She's giving everything. This year is about $200.
Camille: Wow. Yeah.
Heidi: That is a lot of money for 13. You know, she doesn’t babysit every weekend. She babysits like twice a year, so how else is she going to get money? She does chores and various things, but she gets it. It's so cool to see when your kid gets it. Just sort of has this light bulb moment of, oh my gosh, this is important. My other kids are awesome too. I'm not trying to throw them under the bus because she really connected with what we're doing and it's awesome to see.
Camille: We all have different spiritual gifts and she definitely has this one. What would you say to someone who wants to start something similar in their community or at least wants to help you out?
Heidi: I'll ask the first question first. If you want to do something in your community, do it. Just do it. I am just a regular girl. My husband is a regular guy and we do not have financial resources. We spend very little money. What we are offering is our time and our effort.
I would just say find out what the needs are in your community. If you want to do something like we are doing, talk to a school counselor or our district has something called the Family Resource Center where people can go get clothing and food for free and that's where they pick up birthday boxes and stuff like that. The resource center helps line them up with food stamps and all kinds of things. They know what the needs are. Not every district has one, but it's a great place to start.
Some people, myself included, tend to think I want to give this but sometimes this isn't what people need. Really try to find out what the need is and not just what you want to do.
If you want to help us, we do projects throughout the year. I imagine you'll have this in show notes or something, Camille, our website. There's a place to sign up for the newsletter or contact us, and you can use either of those things to get the latest information. We are actually in the process of rebranding. It's a long story, but we're going to be called Be the Good Pretty soon.
Never suppress a generous thought. If you want to do something, do it.
Camille: Oftentimes we just don't know where to start and that's one of the reasons why I love you because then I can just be like, Heidi will know.
Heidi: We're trying to be the connecting point. We're trying to match people who want to help with people who have needs. You can also help me by helping to stuff stockings and helping wrap presents. You don't have to spend money to help. Christmas is over, but we do things throughout the year that try to hit different populations.
Camille: You're doing amazing things and I love it because you emphasize the point, it's not like I'm anybody extraordinary. I just
Heidi: I'm not.
Camille: I just decided this is what we're going to do and we're doing it. That's amazing. I love it. Thank you for sharing your testimony and your light with us.
Heidi: Oh, absolutely. Thanks for having me.
Camille: Want to have more gospel conversations with your family? Come to my Market and check out my Gospel Games at cknscratch.com, where you can have all kinds of fun, simple conversations while playing a game. Because the more we talk about the gospel, the easier it is.
