The Lord Loves Your Effort: Candace's Faith Story
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Have you ever wondered if your effort mattered? You can’t do it perfectly because you just don’t have the time or energy. Or maybe you’ve wondered why you should even bother with it. This week’s Faith Story is for you! Come listen to Candace share how she was prompted to do something in the middle of an absolutely crazy and exhausting time and what happened next.
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You can find Candace and all her greatness (including the Names of Christ cutouts) at Lemon Drops & Lilies.
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Camille: Welcome to Chatting with Camille, helping you share the gospel of Jesus Christ at church, home, and beyond.
Welcome to another great week of Chatting with Camille. This week we're going to go over a faith story shared by Candace Hafen. She is a wife, mom of three, former school teacher, turned online, boutique owner of Lemon Drops and Lilies. She loves all the little details and has a passion for creating memories with family, meaningful decor, and celebrating and decorating- especially for the holidays.
Welcome, Candace. We're so excited to have you. Please come and share your story with us.
Candace: Thank you for having me, Camille. I'm excited to be here. My story is super, super simple, but it's been one that has just impacted me for years. It was about four years ago, and it was at a time when life was just feeling super crazy.
One thing that was going on that was big was, well, I'm always busy. Let's just start with that, just like, most moms, right? We're always busy. Life is always full. But at this time, my mom was having some real significant health issues and she was in the hospital, for most of two weeks. She came out for a few days and we ended up having to take her back in.
Even when she was out of the hospital, she still needed a ton of care, like couldn't be alone. It was a pretty big deal. I'm the only child of my parents that lives here, when they need help, it's me. I had been spending most of that two weeks at the hospital. My dad doesn't do as well at hospitals, let's just be frank.
So, I was usually the one there and my dad was still working a little bit. And I would be there all day long. I would get my kids off to school, go there, spend all day. and then when my dad got off in the late afternoon, I would run and go try to do all the mom's stuff and take care of all the things.
It was just this really crazy time. And at the same time, during these two weeks my mom's in the hospital, my daughter's getting ready to have her 16th birthday, so I'm planning her 16th birthday and we've got an overnight trip and I’m working on the details of that, but I'm just exhausted.
I just feel like I'm just emotionally drained completely. Cause it was a lot, you know, being with my mom and helping her and dealing with all this stuff and passing information to the siblings and just all the things and I was just exhausted. And it was just constant for two weeks. During this time, towards the end of it, I remember having this like prompting.
“You need to do your visiting teaching.” Cause it was still back when we were calling it visiting teaching I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not doing a good job there anyway. I don't have time. There's just no way. But the feeling stayed, you need to do your visiting teaching. And I thought, okay, I got to do something.
I ran home from the hospital. I'll hurry in, like mix up some cookie dough then I'll run and pick up the kids and then I'll throw those in the oven. Probably just see if they need to cook for 12 minutes, right? When they're done, I won't even schedule an appointment. I'm just going to drop by at the sister's house, cause it was one sister in particular I was feeling it about, and I'm just going to say hi on the porch.
I tied some cookies with a note, ran to the door, knocked on the door, did not have a significant conversation. Just a, how are you, how are things, you know? Like a minute. I handed her the cookies, walked back to my car, feeling kind of like a failure, to be honest, because there was so much I wasn't getting done.
And I felt like even though I had done something here, I hadn't done my best effort. It wasn't the best in the world that I could have done, you know? But I got in my car and I started to just turn the corner to drive down, and all of a sudden it was the most overwhelming feeling I honestly remember ever having. I was a hundred percent overwhelmed and the feeling in my heart was burning, and all I could feel was, it was enough.
That was enough. I was like, what? And I actually had to pull over. I was so overwhelmed. I had to pull over to the side of the road and it was just this overwhelming feeling of the Lord telling me that my effort was enough. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't as grand as it had, you know, sometimes been, but it was enough. That feeling has just stayed with me.
It was a time that taught me that no, it wasn't perfect, but that the Lord recognized and He loved that I made the effort. I felt the prompting. I responded, I did something, even if it was one minute on the porch, it was enough.
Camille: Absolutely. I love that. It makes me think of sometimes when people have dropped by my house and they have just dropped something off and left and they have no idea the impact it had on me, like no idea at all. But it meant everything to me. Sometimes the effort is enough. I love that story. Thank you for sharing.
Candace: Thank you for letting me.
Camille: When you were telling me you were going to share this story you mentioned, Sister Jones talk from, I don't even know what year it was, but it was a while ago and it was a great talk at the little clip of the primary children and asking President Nelson questions. In his response, President Nelson says,
“The Lord loves effort because effort brings rewards that can't come without it” (See “An Especially Noble Calling” by Sister Joy D. Jones, April 2020).
Were you able to notice any rewards? I mean, you said it wasn't a significant interaction or anything. Did you maybe notice anything later because of the effort you were willing to give then when your life was crazy?
Candace: You know, I would say there's two things.
That particular moment, no, I didn't walk away and have some grand, other than that, some grand thing with this lady. But this lady and I do have a friendship and I don't see her that much. I don't visit teach her anymore. She doesn't come to church a ton, but I do feel like every time I see her, we do have a connection and it's a friendship.
I do think that the adding up of those little efforts, has mattered in our relationship. It's also mattered to me that I recognize that little statement, “The Lord loves effort.” When I'm struggling to do something, I remind myself of that the Lord loves effort. So, you just have to try. If we try, He will maximize our efforts and make it worthwhile.
Camille: Absolutely. Often, we downplay our efforts, right? It was a plate of cookies and you dropped it off. But to someone like me, that's everything. If you were to drop off cookies to my house, that would be so much to me. We downplay our efforts so much. Did this experience help you appreciate other efforts that you have made since, value yourself a little bit more on what you give?
Candace: Yeah, I think it did. Cause like I said, that little statement comes to my mind a lot. The Lord uses it after having had that grand experience. He uses just that little statement of the Lord love's effort, to remind me. Not that long ago, I had an experience where I had prepared, I had planned, I had done all the work I should do to be ready for this little TV segment I was doing.
It was just a really short one, a quick, three-minute long one. I don't know what happened, but I just like completely forgot everything. The most important things I was going to say, I didn't even mention. I got done and there's no redoes. It's like you get one shot and it's over and I was like, what just happened?
And I was shaking the whole time. I don't know if people could tell, but I could tell I was physically shaking and I just remember getting done and getting on my knees and I just prayed and I prayed for about two days before it aired. I just said, Lord, I'm sorry. Cause it was a spiritual segment too.
I remember wanting it to be better than anything I've done because of that, because it was about Him, you know? I just said I'm sorry. I know I didn't do it the best. Please, please, please just take that effort and make it mean something for someone. Just one person. If it's one person, that's enough, just let it be enough.
You know, I was so worried about it. I wasn't going to watch this segment. I finally decided, okay, you need to at least watch it. You need to know how bad it was. Long story short, I got more response from that segment than anything else I had ever done. Longer ones, things I thought was better, I had people reaching out to me, sending me messages, and I'm like, what in the world?
When you say, what have I learned? I think I've learned, you know, we read in the scriptures that the Lord magnifies our efforts. And again, the Lord loves effort. If we'll make the effort, the Lord takes it and He magnifies it. He took something that I thought was a total flop and He made it into something that at least some people got something out of.
Camille: The other thing is we have to remember there's the Holy Ghost, right? So even though we might fail in saying what we want to say, the Holy Ghost could totally magnify that and at least get the message that that person needs to them if we're willing to just open our mouth, right? I'm listening to a Sherry Dew talk again cause you know, she's great. One of the things she starts her talks out with is, so many times somebody will come up and they'll say, you said exactly what I needed to hear. And she'll say, well, what was it? Nine times out of 10, she didn't say that like at all, but they heard what they needed to hear.
I love that we just have to put in that effort and the Lord really will take care of the rest. It's scary though, and it's embarrassing, like you said. We feel like we are failures, but I love that you did it anyway and you watched yourself. Way to go!
Candace: That may have been the hardest part.
Camille: What would you say to somebody who belittles their effort?
Candace: I would say keep trying. It's not easy. And I know keep trying isn't much. But, in that same talk with Sister Jones and interviewing President Nelson, he was asked a little girl and she says, “Is it hard to be a prophet?” Aand he says,
“Of course it's hard. Everything to do with becoming more like the Savior is difficult.”
I love that. I think that's what we have to tell ourselves is everything that is becoming more like the Savior is difficult. And we just have to keep trying when we feel like we failed. We have to rely on the Lord and know that He's there taking our efforts and making it worthwhile.
If we can remember that, I think we're willing to make the effort.
Camille: That's great. And progress requires stumbling.
Candace: Exactly. We learn more from our failures usually than we do from our success, right?
Camille: Absolutely. One of the things I also really loved about your visiting teaching experience was, you heard the voice of the Lord speaking to you after you drove away and he told you what you needed to hear. President Nelson, we've been talking a lot about him cause it's been five years now since he's become the President of the Church. In his very first talk in April when he became the President, he talked about revelation for the church and revelation for our lives. Starting with that talk, he talked about increasing our spiritual capacity for personal revelation, he's talked about hearing Him, taking that time, communing with God daily.
You heard Him speak to you. What are some things that you feel you did so that you were able to hear Him?
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Candace: You know, I don't do anything special. I don't do anything that the rest of us don't do and I don't feel like my revelation comes in these big “aha”s hardly ever, you know?
I just try to do the little things, the simple little things over and over- reading my scriptures. I try to read them every day. I try to do that before I do anything. I try to make sure I say my prayers and I try to follow the promptings I'm given. I would say those are like my three things.
In fact, with the praying and the scriptures, one of the things that's really helped me to do that better is, a mentor, which is actually someone I know that you like too, made a statement that she said, check in with God before you check in with the world and I have just from the second I heard that, that has just become my phrase.
I put it up on my wall so my kids can see it but I try to make sure I'm doing that- checking in with God. So that includes the prayers, the scripture study, but it also includes having time to listen. Cause I don't like a lot of quiet in my day.
I tend to walk around with my headphones in listening to a podcast, listening to a book, while I'm doing things. I have to actually make time in my day to listen. It might be just in the shower taking a few extra minutes so I'm thinking or driving in the car and turning off the radio.
But if I do those things of studying my scriptures, praying, and then take time to listen, I find that I feel like I'm on the right path more. Then when I do have the thought, like, you need to be visiting teaching even when you're totally overwhelmed and dying, I really, really try when I have those thoughts to do.
If I continue to do that, I feel like I'm on the right track and the Lord's guiding me in the small and simple ways.
Camille: Excellent. That's the thing I love about, hearing the Lord. You don't have to be somebody special per se. I mean, we're all special, but you don't have to be someone extraordinary in order to hear Him.
You just have to do those small and simple things consistently to prepare ourselves to be open to those messages. I love that. Thank you for sharing that. How has your experience of knowing that effort is appreciated help you judge other people's efforts differently?
Candace: I'm still working on this, I'll be honest.
I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and with that I have high expectations of other people I feel like it is something I'm constantly working at. One of the things that's helped me is recognizing that we all have our weaknesses. As I've noticed like with my own kids particularly, is where I learned this lesson, if I notice what I'm getting frustrated with a certain child about, it's often the same thing repeated in different ways.
I think that fits for me too. I have the same struggles and they go on my whole life and I keep working at them my whole life. And so, when I recognize that effort, you know, that I need to appreciate other people's efforts. I need to appreciate, sometimes I'll be like, you know what? This is their struggle.
This is their thing. I try to give them grace and I try to remember that word grace. When I'm struggling to give that grace, what helps me is remembering that I want that grace because I have those same struggles or my own struggles, I should say. It's easier for me when I look at it that way and I say, okay, this wasn't what I wanted. This isn't the effort I expected or whatever, but look at it and say, but how would I want them to receive my effort on my bad day? I'm working on that, on doing better.
Camille: We all are all the time, but I think that's an important part of the Lord does love effort, so let's recognize it in other people.
Thank you, Candace. I appreciate you sharing that, share more about your effort and what you're doing in your shop because I love it.
Candace: Oh, I have an online shop and a holiday decor but I refer to it as meaningful holiday decor because, I have found that, I've always loved decorating and beautiful things, and holiday decor and all those things, and celebrating but I really, really have a love for things that matter and putting those things into our home that remind us, you know, of our faith, remind us of how much we love our families. Things that we can do in our celebrating that will bring more memory making rather than, hey, we just had a dinner, but hey, we had this opportunity to connect. Before we had this opportunity to share.
I have an online shop with holiday decor but I try to bring in pieces that add extra meaning to your holiday. So not only does it look beautiful, but it's a tradition piece that you'll use every year to make that event special.
Camille: Those of you that follow on Instagram as well would've seen those names of Christ cutouts that we used at Christmas and I saved them. I didn't put them away with the Christmas stuff cause I want to get them back out at Easter, but I love them and they come from Candace, so definitely check those out.
Candace: We have some fun things and we have fun things coming.
Camille: Do you have any last words of wisdom for?
Candace: Just keep trying. Remember the Lord loves your effort and keep trying. And remember, the scriptures teach us that He'll take our weaknesses and He'll make them our strengths.
I've had many moments where something I thought was a weakness completely, I've had someone tell me was my strength that I went, what? And I know that's only through the Lord. Keep the effort going cause He'll help.
Camille: Love it. Thank you, Candace.
Want to have more gospel conversations with your family? Come to my Market and check out my gospel games at cknscratch.com, where you can have all kinds of fun, simple conversations while playing a game. Because the more we talk about the gospel, the easier it is.
