Reaching for the Savior in Our Trials: Camille's Story
When life gets hard, what do you reach for? I always think of a story from the life of Peter the apostle. When the disciples were on a boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee, they saw the Savior walking on water toward them. At first, they were afraid but then Christ reassured them and Peter asked to walk on the water to Jesus. Soon after, fear sets in and Peter starts to sink. He could have tried to save himself, go back to the boat, something. Instead, Peter instantly turns to the Savior and asks for His help. He knew where to turn for safety and peace. I love that story (see Matthew 14:22-34). Here’s one of my stories that taught me the same principle- how the Savior can get us through every hard moment in our lives.
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Welcome to story week with Chatting with Camille. Story weeks are where we listen to Latter-day Saints share their stories and what they've learned about the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the experiences that they've been through. They help strengthen us, we learn from them, and they remind us of our own stories that we can share with others.
Today, I get to share one of my stories with you. Now, this story took place back in 2017. All of a sudden, I found myself in the ER, getting several blood transfusions and being told that I had APL, leukemia. I needed to stay in the hospital. What they told me was, “Oh, a few days, we'll get you back home and it'll be okay.” Well, a few days rolls around and I'm still in the hospital. I'm still on lots of blood transfusions, plasma, et cetera. They said, “Oh, by the end of the week, or next week, we'll get you home.” That passed and I was still in the hospital. They're like, “Oh, well, you for sure be out of here by the time we move floors.” The oncology unit was moving to a whole new floor in the hospital. And guess what? I got to pick out my new room because I had been there for so long already.
Moving Day! All packed and ready to go to the new floor.
They let me tour the new floor and pick which room I wanted because I was still there. I picked a great room, great view of the park downtown. I was able to see the Labor Day Lift Off. At night they had the balloon glow. It was actually kind of a great view, but I was still in the hospital. Every day I was getting chemo. And every day, you know, there were more things. I needed to get this transfusion or I needed to get this done. I needed to get another bone biopsy. You know, there's always all these things that have to be done. It's definitely wearing on me.
My youngest child was about to go into kindergarten when I went into the hospital and my oldest child. was going into junior high, her first year of junior high. Pretty big years for my kiddos. And I had promised them that I would be there for them (before I went into the hospital). I will take you to your first day of kindergarten and I'll be there and I'll make sure you're okay. I promise that I will walk you through the junior high hallways and make sure that you're okay and you're going to have a great time and it's going to be okay. I was in the hospital. I wasn't able to do that. I was struggling with not being home, not being there for my kids, not even being able to see my kids. It was hard for them to even talk to me on the phone because, of course, as soon as you're on the phone, some nurse comes in and checks on you. Plus, I'm on chemo so you get all the side effects from that. It's just a hard time of life, you know?
My new room with a view. Plus this one had its own shower!
I know you all have had those hard times of life as well. You might be in it right now. I just have to say, hang on! You'll get through it. I promise. But here I am. I think things are going to get better. They don't really promise me an end date any more. They just say, “Okay, these are the numbers we're looking for. We'll get you there.” At least I'm getting the treatment that I need.
One morning. I wake up and I can't see now. You guys, this was going to be my breaking point. I've already given up so much at this point. Now I can't see. I mean, I could see, but I couldn't see. It's hard to explain really unless you experience it. I'm sure a lot of you know that if you can get out of bed while you're in the hospital, do it! It makes a huge difference to your sanity and just your mental game. I knew my room really well by this point. I knew my buddy with the IV and all the drugs with me. That I could pull it along and knew that I could make it to the couch, even though I couldn't really see. I told myself, just get to the couch. You can lie back down. You could close your eyes, but we're going to get to the couch. I got out of bed and you had to go the long way. It's not like I could go the short way because of where the plugs were for my IV thing and everything. That's the way I had to go. We went around the long way, made it to the couch. Sigh of relief. Right?! At least I had gotten out of bed. But man, that was exhausting! It took all of my energy.
My buddy the IV machine.
The tears are starting to come. And I know I've got to do something else if I'm going to get through this. I remember the scriptures and I know I can't read the scriptures at this point. I mean, I can't really see, but I know that I have the Gospel Library app on my phone. I brought it over with me from my bed in case somebody calls. I have it with me and I know kind of where it is on my home screen and I know I could get to it. So, I got to that. I really wanted to get to the Book of Mormon. I knew that was going to be the easiest one for me to really understand. I knew that I could get power from it and that I could have that peace as I listened to the Book of Mormon.
It took me a little bit but I managed to get to the Book of Mormon. After that point, I didn't really care where I was. I just needed to be in the Book of Mormon. I pushed play, put the phone down, laid down on the couch, just let the tears come and just listened. Immediately, I could feel the Spirit that the Book of Mormon brought into that room, brought to me. The peace, the assurance and the comfort that there is a God who knows me, that He has a plan specifically for me. And while this is going to be part of my story, He was not going to leave me and He was going to help me through it. And that is the only way that I survived. The only way that I got through that stay in the hospital is relying on my Savior. Jesus Christ, the gospel of Jesus Christ, the power and the strength that comes as we focus on a relationship with Christ. I have such a strong testimony because of the Book of Mormon and the peace that it can bring because of that experience in the hospital.
If you are having a hard time, I encourage you to just sit down, close your eyes, listen and open your heart and your mind to the Holy Ghost. Feel that peace and comfort that comes because of our Savior, Jesus Christ. He has endured all of our pains, has felt all of our sufferings, and I knew He knew what I was feeling. I can see today. Fantastic blessing. In that moment, I knew even if I wasn't going to get my sight back, that it would be okay. It turns out because of all the chemo that I had been on for such a long period of time, that a lot of spinal fluid had built up. Because of that, it was affecting my vision. So as soon as they were able to drain some of that, I could see. That was obviously, and still is such a great blessing.
I love the Gospel Library app!
I am very grateful for the fact that I know for sure that the Book of Mormon is scripture from God, that this gospel of Jesus Christ is true. That our Savior has suffered, died, and lives again is a blessing that I will never forget. I am so grateful I was able to choose to turn towards Jesus Christ and the peace and comfort that that brings, and that that was brought to my remembrance. So that was where I turned. I am grateful for the strength and the experiences that have taught me so much, but I am happy to say that I am cancer free today. Healthy and happy. And life is grand.
Do you have a story that you want to share? Something that taught you about the gospel of Jesus Christ, strengthened your testimony. Maybe it was a specific principle of the gospel. Come share your story with us. You can message me, email me, whatever. Let's get you on and have you share your story.
Chat with you next time.
Want to have more gospel conversations with your family? Come to my Market and check out my gospel games at cknscratch.com, where you can have all kinds of fun, simple conversations while playing a game. Because the more we talk about the gospel, the easier it is.
